Thursday, June 15, 2006

It's raining Babies

This weekend, I’m throwing a baby shower for a good friend of mine (hi Suzy!). So it was very timely that I read this article over at In the Pink this morning. Cracked me up. Thank god none of my friends with children suffer from “Kidsmug”.


A married-but-not-yet-pregnant couple I know has a phrase for this: “kidsmug.” They’re one of those couples who still go out on the town even now that they’re married, and another couple said to them, “I’m not sure you’ll be able to have kids if you’re still sleeping in till nine on a Saturday. My husband and I were getting up early on the weekends even before we had kids.” That doesn’t mean you’re going to make better parents, it just means you’re nerds. Pass the tequila.

It’s actually kind of funny that I’m throwing this baby shower because I have no knack for these kinds of things whatsoever. I’m also, um, “cooking-impaired”, as my friend Shannon puts it. (I’m not offended by this assessment at all, by the way. I have burned hotdogs before).

Still, I know enough about shower throwing to know that some things are just wildly inappropriate. Believe it or not, people actually do this kind of shit at baby showers:

Baby Shower Game 9 - How Far Around?
Take a spool of curly ribbon or yarn and have each guest cut off how much they think will go around the pregnant tummy. Then wrap one around the Mom. The one closest to the "real" one, wins!

I can tell you that if we did this at her shower, Suzy would probably hurt someone physically.

You can google “baby shower” and come up with a thousand more examples of these so-called “games”. There was one, no lie, called “My Water Broke” where you’ give all your attendees ice cubes with plastic babies in them and they’re supposed to put the ice cube between their thighs or in the armpits or wherever makes the ice melt. Whoever “births” their baby first gets a prize. I mean, ewwwwww. Oh you don’t believe me? Lookie here. Sick and wrong. Almost as sick and wrong as people who put have the baby’s sonogram picture on the cake (it's true, I've seen it).

One of these days, I’m going to throw a baby shower with “Inappropriate” as the theme. Everybody gets a forty, we’re playing that Water Broke game and the food will be sushi and soft cheese. And the cake is going to look like this. heh.

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