On Breakfast...

I'm not one for fast food breakfasts. (I know: shocking). I think McGriddles are McDisgusting. And oh god, the "hashbrowns"...why don't you just dip a sponge in vegetable oil and squirt it straight into your mouth? (full disclosure: I used to think these were good at one point in my youth. That was before I realized that my heart might actually explode sometime).

Here at the Stinkydog office, we are fairly addicted to breakfast tacos and must have them most mornings. On my drive to work, there are approximately 11 places that serve them...12 if you count the guy with the little rollie cart, but I can never tell where he's going to be. La Mexicana Bakery is actually the best of these, but I can only go there if I have extra time and, well, that never happens. For whatever reason, I can get up at 5:45am--almost three hours before I have to be at work and somehow, I will manage to squeak into the office at 8:35...damned dogs. Anyway, we've learned to scout out the best places within walking distance to get our fix.

There are Stinkydog Rules for Consumption culled from years of mishaps and bad salsas. Because I care (and no one should ever eat the salsa verde at La Posada), I will share them with you now.

#1 You will not actually purchase a "breakfast taco" at 7-11. Oh, they might call it a "breakfast taco," but believe me, my friend, it is not. In a moment of desperation, I got one of these so-called "breakfast tacos" a few months ago. It had bacon bits in it. No lie. Not little tiny pieces of real bacon, I mean the stuff people sprinkle on salads...I actually rolled down my car window and spit it out on the roadway, it was that bad.

#2 Ditto for any claims by McDonald's, Wendy's, Burger King or even Whataburger to serve them. You will note that Taco Bell, despite being open early and very late, doesn't serve breakfast tacos. (I like to think of this as their last tenuous grasp on dignity after their ridiculous attempts to make us eat "double-deckered" things).

Depending on the location (and our location is great), you are generally safe with Taco Cabana. Plus, their tomatillo salsa is crazy good.

#3 Repeat after me: chorizo is deeee-licious. Do not fear the chorizo. It's sausage with a little spicy in it.

#4 Salsa is key. Oh, you can have a breakfast taco without it, sure, but then you might as well just eat your eggs and bacon on toast and what fun is that?

and lastly,

#5 when in doubt, get it with lots of cheese.

you're welcome.