Party Like A... Librarian

The XL (entertainment) section of the Statesman (Austin daily paper) listed it's Top 50 Party Bars in the city. This could be more aptly named as "The Top 50 Places You'd Have Threaten Lee With Torture To Go To Again" Or "Fiery Pit Stops on the Short Quick Road to Hell". Seriously, there's like maybe 3 places on this list that don't totally suck. Yes, I'm old.

***update** I posted this before reading Austinist, and they had a funnier and much more appropo take on it: "Best Bars With No Discernable Unique Identity to Go to If You Want to Get Completely Shitcanned on Cheap Drink Specials While Being Grinded on by Frat Guys, All the While Having a High Probability of Ending Up With a Schwag Margarita with a Rohypnol Floater".

Exactly.