This is what the heat will do to you

Yesterday evening when I got home from work, two things happened:

1) my sister called

and

2) I immediately realized upon walking in that it was about 115 degrees in my house.

Our practically brand new, ridiculously expensive air conditioner is vewy vewy sensitive about dog dust so we have to change our filter about every three weeks or the entire thing freezes up and stops working. You have to turn the system off for several hours to let the ice melt while you try not to sizzle. This is the second time this has happened this year. (The first time happened thirty minutes before a dinner party, so you can imagine how this pleases me.)

When I went to bed last night, I had 3 box fans propped up in various angles around the bedroom plus the ceiling fan going at full tilt, trying to get air to circulate. It sounded like I was in the middle of an airport hangar. And I could NOT get comfortable. I would break a sweat just thinking about moving. At one point I asked if the dogs could JUST STOP BREATHING SO MUCH because it was making the air hotter, I swear..

When I finally fell asleep, I dreamt that my sister had killed two people. We spent the entire dream sitting at the kitchen table discussing ways to hide the bodies. I woke up fairly convinced her victims were the air conditioner guys.