Tuesday, October 31, 2006

ack

this is how my night is going:

doorbell ringing doorbell ringing BARK BARK BARK--"Hi, Happy Halloween, okay there, Sparky, just two pieces, oK?"

doorbell ringing doorbell ringing aroooooooooooooo, BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK "Hi! Happy Halloween! What am *I* supposed to be?? What are YOU supposed to be, Junior??"

doorbell ringing doorbell ringing BARK BARK BARK (screams)--"Hi, yes, Happy Halloween, no they don't bite, I promise"

doorbell ringing doorbell ringing BARK BARK BARK BARK!"hi, Happy Halloween, where's your costume?? Oh nevermind, take the loot"

doorbell ringing doorbell ringing. BARK AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BARK! "hi, happy halloween, well--that's called CARAMEL. It's candy. No, I'm sorry, I don't have any Snickers, off you go!"

doorbell ringing BAAAROOOOOO!!! BARK! BARK!BARKETYBARK BARK AROOOOOO!! "Hi, Happy...hey, where'd you go? They DON'T bite!! I SWEAR! Come back, I have CANDY!!!"

doorbell ringing (god, I really hate my friggin doorbell) BARK BARK BARooooommff (my hand over dog's mouth) "Hi, Happy Halloween! Oh good! you came back, you get extra chocolate for bravery."

doorbell doorbell doorbell. (I am SO yanking out the damned wires to this thing any second now) "hi! Happy--heeeyyyyy, weren't you here before?? No? Different Mermaid? Ok, my bad."

doorbell ringing doorbell ringing BAAAAAARRRK Barkety Bark! Bark! "Hi, Happy Halloween, aww aren't you cute! But I don't think the Wiccans appreciate that...That's W*I*C*C*A*N*S... nevermind, take your candy"

doorbell ringing doorbell ringing BAAAAARRK BARARRRRRRK. AROOOOOOOOOOOO, ARRRRROOOOOOOOOOOO, AROOOOOOOmmmff (using both hands and feet now) "hi, Happy Halloween, would you like a dog??"

2 comments:

Fishdog said...

that's funny as shit.

our halloween went like this:

why isn't anyone stopping by?

ding dong

sorry it's raining, take all the candy you want. no really. a biiig handful. there ya go! stay dry and be safe!

well, that was one person, you think anyone else is out in this mess?

etc. we ended up with a total of four visits. and one group wasn't even in costume.

sigh.

Stinkydog said...

what was really funny was the last kid turned around to his parents who were waiting at the curb and hollered, "HEY MOM, CAN I HAVE A DOG??". And both parents yelled back, "NO!!".

I tried.