JackoLantern-tini, My Ass

How stupid am I? Last night, I paid almost $16 (each) for what was probably the worst mexican martini I have ever had. Twice. I won't defame the place who sold them to me other than to say it was on Sixth and it rhymes with Schmiron Bactus. Now, there are several things wrong with this scenario: chiefly among them the fact that I am over 22 and spent time on a Friday night out on Sixth Street. I can only say that it was for a good cause and we have to move past that so I can gripe some more about how much this drink sucked.

First of all, waitress lady, when you introduce something as being a "special" and you're in a bar, this indicates some kind of price break to most of the general population. This does not indicate that you're going to ridiculously inflate the price to approximately three times what the normal drink would cost by adding the words "Jackolantern" and a splash of f*&@ing orange juice. Also to note, when selling said hilariously jacked up drink, it might be nice if you actually dropped a splish of alchohol in it so that by the time the bill comes, I am at least pleasantly buzzed enough to only show mild displeasure at your deception. At the end of not one, but TWO mexican martinis--a drink that most other bars cap a limit on because in the REAL WORLD when you make a mexican martini, two will get you fairly soused--at the end of TWO of these drinks, I could've taken the f*$&ing SAT, I was that sober. Now, you could argue that maybe that's because I have a high tolerance. I'll let you in on a little secret: I don't. I used to, but it only applied to wine (not tequila) and even my wine tolerance has gone the way of the teradactyl because of all this damned healthy living I've been doing. Anyway, I'm not advocating public drunkenness, I'm just saying that to get the tiniest of buzzes from this preposterous and expensive NON-tini, I would have probably had to take out a second mortgage.

Should I have asked the cost of the drink or consulted a menu before ordering??Absolutely, stupid of me not to. I just didn't realize I had entered an alternate universe where "mexican martini" meant "twenty dollar limey orange juice served in leaky cocktail shaker."

I will know better next time, promise.