Shiny Objects

In an effort to manage my ever-limited Saturday OFF time, I decided it was a good idea to go grocery shopping at the new Super Target conveniently located 3 miles from my house. Big mistake. After the first 20 minutes, it became increasingly apparent that there was no way I could possibly shop for bananas while the Isaac Mizrahi scarves were a mere three shopping rows away.. and not only that, but the pasta aisle was located entirely too close to the Thomas O'Brien super-plush bath rugs. What? Do they think I'm totally made of STEEL here? My god, I went in for eggs, bagels and ground coffee and came out with a cute little bathroom shelf. This is all wrong. I can't do this. Give me back my HEB. I need food.