Faking It

in which I comment on the news with the understanding that, of course, I could do better:
I was reading this story this morning thinking to myself--Jeesh, guy, could you BE any worse at faking your own death?? I was... in a PLANE CRASH...no, actually, it was a CANOE ACCIDENT... would you buy that I crashed my motorcycle?? No? HEY WHAT IS THAT (points to something and takes off running when you turn to look). Dude, this calls for better planning.

How would YOU fake your own death? hmmm, I sense a new poll question..