Friday, April 30, 2010

warning: this post has to do with me talking about medical things. some people get skeeved out by this kinda talk, but before you go all cringey on me, just know it's just about my mouth and nothing else.But skip it if you don't like hearing about other people's dentia, Ok, carry on.

So, question: you want to know what you don't want to hear when you bite into a banana? Why Yes,that's right: technically, you don't want to hear ANYTHING when you bite into soft fruit. You specifically do not want to hear a crunch. And then realize that the crunch is one of your teeth.. because then that would mean that you BROKE YOUR TOOTH ON A BANANA. That can't be good.

This is exactly what happened to me this morning as I was eating breakfast. CRUNCH and then WTF???? Did I just break a tooth?? Ran to the bathroom, angle my head nearly upside-down and see that, yep, part of my tooth, MY FRONT BOTTOM TOOTH, is missing. Jesus. So, I did what any other 38 year old wife and mother would do: I ran around in circles, flapping my arms wildly and yelling with my tongue smashed against the ragged missing part, MY TOOOFFFH, OH MY GATTTH, MY TOOFFFFH AAAIIIIGGHHH GOOTH SOMFBODY HEP ME AIIIGGGHGHHHH !!!!. And then I called my dentist who is located about 3 office buildings down from my workplace. He got me in to the chair in about 20 minutes, put some sort of dental bondo on there, sanded it down and told me in no uncertain terms: DUDE, YOU HAVE TO GET A MOUTHGUARD.

Apparently, that banana wasn't really all that tough. Instead, I suffer from bruxism, which is just a schmancy way of saying: I grind the hell out of my teeth at night when I'm sleeping. It's very very common. But I've gotten to the point where I'm grinding my teeth so badly that some of them are getting fractured and chipping off. I actually had two other teeth that he found were broken as well. They're not really sure what causes Bruxism, but some causes include anxiety or stress, suppressed anger or frustration or in some cases, it's just a sleep disorder. I don't consider myself a particularly frustrated person, so maybe I just have a sleep disorder, Who the hell knows? I asked my dentist what I should do about it and he said (and I quote) "get a mouthguard and go on vacation". So helpful, that one.

So, any advice here? on toothgrinding or good vacation spots. I'll take either.


Robyn said...

ughh, teeth are bones and bones gross me out. Sorry to hear that. What color is your mouthgard? Did he give you one or do you have to set out and find one??

Stinkydog said...

I just found out that our insurance does not cover the $600 mouthguard that the dentist has fitted for you (!!!) seriously, I almost had a stroke when they told me that. Anyway, I am getting another kind--he referred me to a couple of different ones--we'll try them out this weekend.

Juliet said...

If possible, get one that has an electronic scrolling message bar on it...that way, you could cover the cost by getting local businesses to pay you while you advertise for them.

'Course, that means you'd have to have a shit-eating grin on your face all the time, so people could see the advertisement...

Hey, it could happen.