Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I'm judging you

Look, here's the deal: writing is hard. Writing on the internet where who knows who the hell is reading this besides your mom, your sisters, your neighbors from 1974-1980 (Hi Juliet!) and other people who either love you, or at least pretend occasionally that you don't tend to go on and on about your dog's farts or how incredibly LONG your kid's eyelashes are (seriously, Hop has some peepers)--this writing/blogging is harder than it looks because it's really putting yourself out there. For the most part, I try not to make fun of other people. I will happily link to other blogs that make fun of other people, but seriously, here at Stinkydog: GLASS HOUSES, is all I'm saying. Live how you gotta live.

That said, it is my opinion that ParentHacks is often the Regretsy of parenting websites. Unintentionally. Look, I'm sure the lady who runs it is an awesome parent--she homeschools which takes a buttload of courage and determination. And actually, the stuff she writes herself is pretty good. But jeeze louise, that aside, the "hacks" that are printed on the website mostly from reader submissions: Oy. Every day I read these and almost every time I want to smack myself in the head.

Let me give you a few recent examples:

One lady writes that to keep soapy water out of her four year old's eyes: "To get him to tilt his head back I drew a tiny sailboat on the ceiling in eyeliner and told him to look at it while I rinsed. Not one drop went on his face!" um. you know what also works? Saying, "LOOK UP"! Visors! Tearless shampoo! Crazy concepts, I know.

Another recent "hack": Ice Chest as kiddie pool. I am assuming this is only an option because you are now putting your drinks in the REAL kiddie pool...that doesn't come with a LID. Can you imagine? "Mommy, I want to go swimming." "ok Bobby, Go sit in the COOLER..AND DON'T EAT THE ICE"

Or hey, what about this travel toy you can make yourself! It teaches kids how to use buckles! hmmm, You know what I don't want my kid learning how to do when we're travelling with him in a car seat?? HOW TO UNBUCKLE THE DAMNED CAR SEAT.

I mean, is it just me??

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