Tuesday, October 05, 2010

You know, I purposely try not to bitch about pregnancy here because truth is: I know I'm damned lucky to be 39 and knocked up because I wanted to be. There are so, so many deserving people in the world who don't get this chance and I don't forget that. So, you won't hear me griping about heartburn I get after eating dry bread and water or the turtleneck jeans I have to wear with the panel that goes up and over my boobs (man, are those things comfortable..I'm not kidding though, I could probably wear them without an actual shirt). I will, however, with the intention of maybe getting either some a)sympathy b)helpful advice or c)DRUGS, tell you about the SPINS, man. Oh god, the SPINS.

This is a relatively new thing this gestational period. I didn't have it at all when I was pregnant with Hopper, but this time around, starting last week, I get this sensation every time I stand up like I just drank 37 Bartles and Jaymes and I'm either going to list starboard and/or horf. Probably both. Every. Time. I. Stand. Up. I have to hold onto something or I will actually fall over.

I know what you're thinking: Stand up Slower! Stop drinking Bartles and Jaymes! and "Have you discussed this with your assigned medical professional?" Why yes, I have discussed this with someone (presumably licensed): my OB's nurse, she of the: Have you had your 15 glasses of water a day?? school of medical advice. Would you like to know what she told me? (other than drink more water, which, seriously, I'm up to two gallons a day, can we possibly come up with an alternate plan this time?).

She said, "Call us if you pass out."
Uh. Why thanks. I will, in fact, call you if I LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS. As soon as I wake up.

I'm not sure I can take 3 more months of feeling like this, yall. It's like being at a horrible dance club on Nickel Well Drinks Night, only you're not 24 and stupid anymore. You're 39 and stupid and desperately hanging on to one of the dogs telling him not to move til Mama gets her bearings. Please, please, if you have any ideas for me, let me know in the comments.



Mel Francis said...

wow, hon. I never had that when I was pregnant. Maybe you should actually START drinking the Bartles and Jaymes.... :)

Really not sure what to tell you, so I'm not really sure why I'm posting a comment. Hang in there and work some google ninja magic and see if anyone else has had the same experience. (which I'm sure you've already done so I'll shut up now.)

Robyn said...

I agree, if you drink Bartles and Jaymes at least you would have an excuse. I never had that with either one of mine. So no advice here. I guess that's just one hell of a placental shunt.

Suzy said...

Poor thing! I bet it's nothing serious, maybe just nature trying to slow you down. I just read a few helpful things here http://tinyurl.com/2ponvg

Like eat more iron. I laughed when I read their advice: "Try to put your head between your knees". yeah, like that's going to happen any time soon.