The week that was

The Gnome of Doom turns 8 weeks old tomorrow, so that means I only have two weeks of maternity leave left. Sigh. That went by entirely too fast. I feel like the first four weeks or so, I was so sleep deprived and dopey on painkillers, I should get a do-over. I've really only been awake for three weeks--helped along by the surprising willingness of the G.O.D. to sleep at night, for the most part. He goes to bed around 11pm-midnight and wakes up at 7:45 every morning which is pretty much Sam's schedule. I'm up at least once during the night hooked up to the Dairy Cow Boob Pumper so I don't get quite as much shuteye as those two, but apparently I make up for it with REALLY LOUD snoring. And I'm trying to prep myself for the return to work by not taking naps during the day anymore, so I'm at a little bit of a sleep disadvantage, but all in all, we're doing OK. I mean, midnight to 7:45am is pretty damn awesome for a not quite two-month old... I am typing that VERY quietly so that Screamy Baby Karma doesn't hear. Screamy Toddler Karma already got wind of it and kicked me, HARD. I won't go into full detail about my attempts to let Hopper "cry it out," as they say when he refuses to go to bed. Turns out, Hopper's version of "cry it out" much more resembles "SCREW YOU, LADY, I AM NOT SLEEPING" followed then by bashing his head against his crib until he makes his nose and lip bleed and I run in and freak out and cry even more than HE does and then there's hugging and me silently cursing Ferber and his STUPID IDEAS.
It's not that I think Hopper is super special and can't be held to sleep training methods worked on literally millions of kids.. but let's just say, the kid is OBSTINATE (thanks, Hovlands, for that family trait, love ya). And I just don't have it in me to watch my kid bash his head in when all he really wants is for me to hold him. Yeah, I may regret that in the future, but for now, Round One: THE KID WINS.
and in case you are wondering why on earth I would take a picture of this before cleaning him up. I didn't. This is post cleanup. Pre-cleanup was much more Extreme Cage Fighting. Seriously. Sigh.