Friday, May 11, 2012

It was us

In a daycare environment, a kid who looks greenish and or actually vomits is the tiny human equivalent of taking an open bucket of lighter fluid and smoking a big fat stogie next to it in the middle of a crispy backyard during a hot Texas Summer. That is to say: chances are, something's going to explode and trust me, that shit is going to spread. Even in places like our daycare where people wash their hands religiously and swab everything down with a bleach solution on a regular basis. It's just going to happen. If one kid is sick, they're ALL going to get sick. Which is why, as a parent, when you see that hastily written flyer stuck on the wall about "We have a confirmed case of rotovirus..blah blah blah" you're like, AW HELL. Because you KNOW it's only a matter of time before your kid gets it. And you're like REALLY?? WHO DID THIS?? Which one of you is the source of this virulent epidemic disease?
Even if you hear about some other kid going home after Linda Blairing the nap room and you're making "Poor Baby" noises, if you're like me, you're also secretly thinking: VECTOR VECTOR, WHO IS THE SOURCE, VECTOR ALERT.  So who was it? WHO BROUGHT THE PESTILENCE INTO OUR HAPPY HOME. I know it was one of you. Was it that tiny little brunette who likes to walk around shoving her binky into everyone's mouth? Was it that gargantuan Baby Huey kid who is the sweetest thing on the planet?I bet it was germs on his man-sized hands. Or Was it that precious little blonde haired kid with the big googly eyes who leaves snot trails like a goddam snail? I BET IT WAS HIM. 
And I am here to tell you, as the parent of that Snail Kid. Yes, it was us. I'm so sorry. Rowan horfed on Wednesday. Hopper spent the better portion of last night not only horfing in his sleep but ROLLING IN IT. (Happy Early Mother's day to ME). I found out today that we were the first kid sick. Uh. Oops.

 I am SO so sorry about that. This isn't some kind of revenge for that 4 day HorfFest someone else brought in back in March, I promise. And I'll make sure I boil them in lye before bringing them back.

No comments: