Last night, both boys asked for a sheet of paper so they could write a letter. Already suspicious. Hopper immediately takes his and runs back to his room for twenty minutes. Rowan sits down at the kitchen table and asks me to help write his while he dictates.
Monday, November 09, 2015
Dear Great Pumpkin,
We need to talk about Santa. Also, I want some Paw Patrol Windup Bath Toys. I have been very good other than Tuesday when I pulled Radley's hair at school. Love, Rowan
Hopper comes back out of his room, hands me his sheet of paper and whispers that I should NOT show Rowan. On his paper are instructions for his dad to rig up a bag of rocks that will drop on Rowan's head as he walks through the door, rendering him flattened and only able to weakly gasp "help"-this is based on the drawings he also rendered to go along with the instructions. Unfortunately, his handwriting is atrocious and he did it all in pink colored pencil, so it's a little hard to make it all out.
"Hopper," I said, "This is not very nice."
"SHHHHHHH, IT'S A PRANK." (whispering louder than if he had actually spoken in his natural voice).
"Yeah, well, when Santa comes snooping around, this could be considered incriminating evidence."
And that's why my kid came to school with a piece of paper stuck down his pants that he tried to throw away when no one was looking.