Wednesday, February 28, 2007

High Maintenance Bitch

I originally posted this on Saturday and then thought better of it, thinking I was maybe opening my mouth when I should really really keep it closed, but since then I've read both Steph and Mel post variations on the theme, and because I am nothing if not willing to spout off on parenting issues when the closest I've ever been to it is bottle-feeding a puppy and therefore an EXPERT, here it is... again (for those who may have been reading between 7:30 and 9pm Saturday evening and saw it the first time).

I don't know if you read this, but there's a dog accessories store in Seattle that's in hot water for having a sign with, well, the name of the store on it: High Maintenance Bitch. One of the people complaining is a mother who notes "Walk by there with your 5-year-old and try to explain why that sign is there. Half of the sign is made up of the word 'bitch.'"

Now, I'm not a parent which will automatically negate for a lot of people this next comment and will undoubtedly garner me some eyerolls, but I'm just going to put it out there..

Here's what I think: First, if your five year old can read the sign: congratulations, you have a very intelligent kid! I was at least six before I could read A Fly Went By so since you have such a smartie, how about teaching your child that the word "bitch" means an unspayed female dog? If your child already knows that "bitch" is used by half the world as a derogatory term for a woman that someone doesn't like, why not focus on that problem instead of targeting someone who's using the word as it actually means? Really. Is that so hard? (ducking) .

I just don't see the point in perpetuating the misuse of a perfectly innocent word just because other people do it--teach your kid what it means and tell them that some people use it in a way that' s not right and that's a bad thing. ... I can feel the waves of derision already: "You expect me to explain social insult patterns to a five year old?? What happens when little Emma says the B-word in kindergarten class, huh? What then?"

Well, let me tell ya, if she's talking about a dog, I'd tell the teacher to get a grip and buy a dictionary. Come talk to me if she uses the N-word or "faggot" 'cause then, my friends, we'd have an actual problem.

I am now going to sit here and see which one of my sisters emails me first to tell me what an idget I am. The rest of you can just wait.


Mel Francis said...

I agree completely.

It's like that woman in a florida town who complained to a theater about The Vagina Monologues on the marquee because her niece asked what a vagina was.

Um. if your NIECE, who is a GIRL, can read the word VAGINA, then she should already KNOW what it is because it's the thing that makes her a GIRL.

Get over it. It's anatomy.

Steph said...

I don't see any reason to keep quiet about how to raise kids just because I don't have any. I run my mouth about plenty of other things I know nothing about. Anyway, I like to think that I am providing my parent friends with lots of material to throw back in my face at whatever point I DO have children.

Anonymous said...

And yet "Trix are for kids" is still going strong.

How does she explain that one to her daughter?

Steph said...

Come on, you've got to say what they put on the marquee after they took down vagina.

They put up The Hoohaa Monologues.

Seriously. Isn't that the greatest thing ever?

Mel Francis said...

Yes. the HooHaa Monologues. It was a great marketing tool because it got the word out!

It drives me nuts when people are so self conscience that they can't even call a penis a penis or vagina a vagina.

Do they really think saying "winkie and hoohaa" are better?

No wonder kids are fucked up.

Stinkydog said...

just for the record, I'd totally buy a "Hoohaa Monologues" t-shirt..