Ima have to kill somebody

I have had the weirdest day, like, ever.

I'm in Dallas for a class and right next door to us is a conference room full of 500+ store managers from Ross Dress for Less. Apparently, they like to use party horns in their meetings. At least that's what I heard all day. Party horns and screaming. I went up to my room to get some Advil and I stepped on to the elevator with Jerry Jones (owner of the Dallas Cowboys). Sadly, he did not break out into his Pizza Hut dance. The "free wi-fi" here is apparently not all that free, oh and non-existent so far, so I'm in the Business Center of the Hotel checking emails when the guy next to me starts READING OVER MY SHOULDER. I shit you not. It was nothing important, but he actually started up a conversation, "So, Cocker Spaniels, eh?" I looked at him, got up from my chair and left. Whaaaaat is that? On my way back to my room, this lady in the elevator that I have never seen before in my entire life turns around and asks me to zip up the back of her dress. Seriously. Where am I? Is this hell?