Thursday, July 02, 2009

This morning was the second morning in a row this week that I was woken up at 4am--this time it was because I kept hearing this bizarre bump and scratching noise, like something had gotten knocked over and was being drug across the floor. And you know, I didn't immediately assume it was a bad thing-- I had visions that maybe an extra large squirrel got in through the fireplace and took out Mr. Bean. All that damned barking all the livelong day, honestly, I would not blame the squirrel. He'd probably get a high-five. Anyway, so, I got up and stumbled down the hallway to investigate this bumping and scraping noise only to find Micah (our 15 year old cocker spaniel) body slamming the Diaper Genie. Presumably to get to the scrumptious poo diapers inside. Now, this isn't Micah's first tango with the Diaper Genie. She has successfully emptied it out and spread the contents across our hallway at least once before, an act that actually ALSO WOKE ME UP FROM A DEAD SLEEP because of the overwhelming aroma of poo diaper wafting throughout the bedroom. Ah, the lovely smell of day-old baby shit, nothing like re-visiting it in your dreams.. And you know: I'm just telling you these things now, in writing, so you know that when this happens for the third time and Micah "goes to live on a ranch somewhere where there's lots of room she can run" and no one ever sees her again, you will not ask any of those pesky little questions, like, "Hey, didn't you have a fourth dog??" and I will not have to answer, "Yes, we did, but she wouldn't stop shredding poo diapers and SHE HAD TO DIE."

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