Thursday, April 10, 2014

Bean Weighs In

Bean's reaction to the new puppy*: a story in photographs.

Um, Mom, WTF is this??

 You do realize it has a tiny head, right? Like, 1/5th the size of mine. And you know how dumb I am, divide that dumb by like, SEVEN...EIGHT times.

Oh shit, it's kissing me. TOUCHING MY MOUF. COOTIES.

Perhaps if I close my eyeballs and make a wish, it will not still be here when my eyeballs are back open. 

Christ. Still here, huh? Well, what do you want me to do with it? I could eat it for you. I feel certain I could fit its entire head into my gaping maw with a little gravy. 

 Surely, you realize I still very much have the cute. Also, this thing looks like a rat. It's wearing a cat collar and that's even too big. Ridiculous, yo.

OK. Fine. I just want you to look at its head again and remember the key word: CAPACITY. Don't come looking at me when it starts pooping out undigested plants and half eaten socks. I gave up that shit YEARS ago. 

* O'Malley was adopted last Thursday. We had about a 72 hour break before the new pup arrived. She does indeed have a dimunitive little noggin. 

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