Wednesday, July 01, 2015

Wants vs Needs

I can always tell when someone else has been at my child, trying to teach them life lessons because these "lessons" always come back to haunt me in some form or another, usually having to do with a certain little boy's unwillingness to get out of bed and get ready in the morning.

Take for example, a conversation I had yesterday morning with my son:

Time to get up! (said cheerfully and full of love and sparkle)

NO.

Hopper, I'm going to need you to get up now.

No, mom, you WANT me to get up now. That's not the same as needing.

Whatever, kid, get out of bed. (less sparkle)

And then after two, long and torturous minutes of me forcing him to walk into the living room without a blanket over his head.

Hop, I need you to stand up and put your clothes on.

NO, you only WANT me to put my clothes on. 

Hopper, you NEED to get dressed because you can't go to camp without clothes on your body.

My six year old son then launches in to this diatribe about the difference between WANTS and NEEDS and how I am using the terms interchangeably when this is so obviously, terribly incorrect.

A NEED IS SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO HAVE TO SURVIVE, MOM. I DON'T NEEEEEEEEEED CLOTHES ON TO SURVIVE.

O'Rly?  Would you like to go to camp nude, son? because you can do that. I'll just sit and watch.

WELL, I WOULDN'T DIE WITHOUT THEM.

Seriously, please feel free to get in the car buck naked and we'll go right now. Your penis can sway in the wind. It'll be nice and breezy.

I'M ONLY PUTTING CLOTHES ON BECAUSE I WANT TO.

Oh no, it's ok, you're right, you don't really NEED them to survive, maybe just a spritz of some bug spray so you don't get mosquito bites on your butt...

I NEED YOU TO STOP TALKING NOW, MOM.

1 comment:

Bun Karyudo said...

I know what you mean. Sometimes the damage can be self-inflicted too. Like when you spend a long time emphasizing to your kids the great importance of absolute honesty, and then getting their unvarnished opinions on everything from your choice of shirt to your singing in the shower.