Monday, October 26, 2015

The Forecast for Halloween

I'm taking a break here between waitressing and doing hazmat cleanup for my son who was sick as a dog yesterday and most of last night through the early hours but has now made a miraculous recovery thanks to goddam Pokemon now that I ix-nayed going to school. It's not that I think he was faking it, trust me, no one can fake that much horfing. He was truly sick and I'm happy not to spread it around, but now that I've made him stay in bed all day, he's watched approximately 39 episodes of that tripe and is happily extolling the strengths of the Assahat or whatever that particular pokething is called.

I've tried to get him to talk about Halloween this weekend, but he's not having it. I'm worried that Halloween is maaaayyybe not going to go well this year.  I think this for three reasons:

1. We had a costume plan. HAD. Hopper was going to go as a lion. Rowan was going to go as a tiger. This was before I mentioned facepaint. You know how most kids like to get their faces painted at the carnival? yeah. Not mine. Not so much.  I really don't know what my children have against facepaint. It's probably in the same vein of hatred they have for mac n cheese, you know that food that every other child on the planet loves and tends to eat nothing but for years? uh huh, NO. My children will not touch it. (If you know about my cooking skills, you probably realize that this has cut my available menu by 1/3.) So once I mentioned giving them something crazy like WHISKERS FOR THEIR CAT COSTUMES, they were like, "ah, yeah, no thanks. I don't want to be a lion anymore." I tried cajoling, I sneaking the facepaint kit into the cart at Target (and that's why, fellow shoppers, you saw a facepaint kit hurtling its way over the detergent aisle last Saturday 2pm-ish).  It's ok, it's not like I went out and bought the costumes, we already had them in our costume box, but now I'm like, OK, NOW WHAT?  I *think* we have something awesome that I can pretty much scrounge from things we have around the house, but we'll see if there's another 27 costume idea changes between now and Saturday.

2. Did I mention the horfing? Man, there was a lot of horfing. I feel like Hopper is probably horfed out, but there's three of us who have now been exposed to the horfing but who have not yet began the joy that is the 14 hour straight horf-a-thon.  I don't really want to be sick, but yet, I find myself hoping that if its going to hit, it hits before Friday.

3. It's gonna storm.  Last weekend, Austin got a lot of rain due to Hurricane Patricia, so we're pretty much already soaked. The forecast is showing 60% of storms both Friday which is the day of Hopper's school halloween fest and Saturday. Joy.

So, we're either going to be camping out by the toilet in a tiger costume missing all the trick or treat action or slogging through a downpour. Or both.   I think the Great Pumpkin needs to intervene here.

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