Here's your Answer

As a favor to the world, I'd like to ask you to please don't ask just-married people when they're going to have kids. In particular: me.

#1, it's crass. For all you know, maybe we've been going to see a fertility specialist for years and years about our failure to reproduce. Months of testing and lost hopes and dreams and your bringing it up breaks my heart into tiny pieces every time you mention it, you cold bastard.

I mean, we haven't--we're good, but for all YOU know, we could have.

#2, Sam and I would have these kids. I just know it.

And oh yeah, they'd be 8 feet tall. At birth.