Thursday, August 14, 2008

What You Say

I am hoping this does not become a regular feature here, but since the news about the Mexican Jumping Bean in My Belly has started to make the rounds, I have started compiling a list of Stupid Things People Say To Pregnant Women. Ladies and Germs, may I present: Part 1 (and my responses).

Person A: But… You HATE children.
Me: No, I hate YOUR children. Other kids are just fine.

Coworker: Does Sam know?
Me: No, I thought I’d tell YOU first.

Person B: omg, you are going to get HUUUUUUGE!


:blink, blink:

Me: I have to go now.

Listen, I know my husband is a large person. 6’7 and not a beanpole. We all know this, ok? There is no need for anyone to start speculating about how this is going to translate to the size of any being inside my body or, to take a step further, how this may cause me to have difficulty getting this being OUT OF my body. We do not need to speculate, you do not need to calculate inside your head. I can tell when you do that, ok? Ix-Nay on the Oggling-Gay, A’ight? LET US NOT DISCUSS IT.

I will fight you. You have been warned.


Suzy said...

Oh, man, this cracks me up!

Steph said...

My husband is a big guy, and we were both large babies. When I was terrified and thinking that Saul was going to be 15 pounds, here is what some wise person told me: head circumference doesn't vary that much.

It made me feel better.

Allison said...

Oh, you'll have more entries to that list...soon...very soon.