It Would Be Rude Not To

Scene: dinner time as I'm pulling cheese off of my son's pizza (not a euphemism) because despite the fact that HE ASKED FOR PIZZA, Rowan doesn't like cheese.

Hopper: Mom, is there any circumstances where a person might change their name when they're already six?

Me: Only under very special circumstances.

Hopper: Well, I think I have a very special circumstance.

Me: Which is what?

Hopper: You named me the wrong name.

Me: No I didn't.

Hopper: Yes, you did. I think we need to go back and change it. Do you know what it should be?

Me: Do tell.

Hopper:  SHADOWHUNTER.

(silence)

Hopper: Isn't that the coolest name?? People would just walk past me and say, "Hey there, Shadow Hunter, you cool guy" and I would always say hi back because I'M SHADOWHUNTER and it would be rude not to.

Indeed.